Dear Prudence, 10/18/07

October 18, 2007 at 6:31 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

My boyfriend just moved to the city from a small town. We live in a great apartment that we both love, but there is one problem. The couple upstairs have loud sex a few times a week. It normally happens just as we’re falling asleep, and sometimes it makes it hard to sleep. I get embarrassed to hear something so intimate. My boyfriend would like to talk to them about it, but we have only said “Hi” to them since we moved here and I don’t want to embarrass them. I don’t want to have to move, but I need my sleep. What should we do?

Bang on the ceiling! Heehee, I said “bang!” Yes, I am twelve years old. But seriously, there are two types of noisy-sex-in-a-thin-walled-apartment couples: THose who don’t realize everyone can hear them, and those who want everyone to hear them. There’s nothing at all you can do about the latter, since any kind of acknowledgement that you can hear them is just fanning the flames.

We have a fairly tightknit group of married couples who get together every month or so. One of the wives has a single sister who lives in town, and she brings her to some of our events. Sometimes she asks and sometimes she doesn’t. The group dynamic definitely changes when the sister is around, as most of us don’t know her very well. We all try to make her feel welcome, but things seem odd because she is not married and we only see her during these events. What can be done when this wife says she’s bringing her sister to an event I’m hosting, without completely crushing this very sensitive woman?

So, the problem is not that there’s an uninvited guest, but that the guest is somebody who isn’t part of your Super Secret Society of Married People? What, is she gonna give you spinster cooties? She probably isn’t enjoying your in-crowd smugness any more than you’re enjoying her insensitive lack of a spouse.

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